A list of 5 things that I find profoundly weird:
1. Being asked “Where do you stay?” rather than “Where do you live?”
I think this is Scotland-specific, possibly even Fife-specific, but I’ve noticed it a lot since I moved up here and it throws me every time. To me ‘staying’ somewhere implies that you’re there temporarily. If it’s your permanent place of residence surely you ‘live’ there? Sounds like the start of a philosophical debate to me.
2. Joint email addresses
I feel bad about this one because I’m sort of picking on middle-aged and older people going ‘Why don’t you understand technology?!’ But it does baffle me. I guess the logic is that for snail mail everyone at the house uses the one address, but it’s faulty logic because most of the mail that comes to your house is addressed to an individual. If you think of an email address as including both individual name and location, it makes sense that you would have your own individual email address (or 6).
3. Heating up scones in the microwave
I love warm scones. But only when they’re fresh from the oven and STILL warm. Microwaving them does not recreate this; microwaving the scone causes the exterior to crisp up so much that it cuts the roof of your mouth and the interior to become soggy. You especially should not do this if the plan is to serve them with butter, clotted cream and jam. I will stop frequenting your establishment, and I will tell everyone I know.
4. The inability to smell freesias
Apparently c.10% of the UK population cannot smell freesias – a fact that has been weirding me out since I was 8. Freesias are so sickly-pungent that I can’t imagine not being able to smell them.
5. Selling books in doctor’s waiting rooms
I have no problem with the sale of books, or the raising of money for charity. But why would I buy books that have been sat in the doctor’s waiting room – you know, where the sick people and their germs are – and then take them home with me?
So what do you think: Am I being oversensitive? Have I neglected even weirder things in the making of this list? Can you smell freesias? Let me know.